© Shea's Laws of Small Business
1. Alone in the office, the telephone always rings as soon as you go to the bathroom.
2. You put $100 in small change in your cash register and the first customer of the day buys something for $5 and hands you a $100 bill.
3. The weekend of your big sale -- the credit card terminal breaks down.
4. The day of your son's big game your number one client shows up and wants to take you out for a drink.
5. The weekend you plan a 3-day get-a-way you get a rush job due on Monday.
6. After hiring extra help for a big job, the client cancels the order.
7. You decide to clean out the office and a week later you really need something that you threw out.
8. After three years of working without a vacation, you finally take one. Two days later you get a call from your manager that half of your employees walked off the job.
9. The weekend of your big anniversary sale, the home town football team loses the big game. A riot break out and the police are called in to restore law and order. The mayor closes down the city for the weekend.
10. You finally sell an item that has been in your store for over two years at a large discount. Two days later a customers comes in looking for that very item and is willing to pay top dollar if you have it - you don't.

Business Funnies

Sign outside a fish restaurant -- Trout On In
Sign over a tip jar at a coffee house -- Tipping is not a city in China or a recreational activity involving cattle.
A slow reach - someone at a business dinner that takes their time reaching for their wallet to pay the bill.
Have you noticed that mobile home parks and now called "Estates."
Why is it that some business people spend thousands of dollars to make hundreds of dollars?
Watch out for people that know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Written statement for soliciting money -- "I upped my pledge - up yours."
Man walked into a book store and asked the salesperson "where's the self-help section? She replied, "if I told you it would defeat the purpose."
"How did you get into business for yourself?"
"I decided to go onto my own business after I lost my job because of something my boss said."
"What did he say?"
"You're fired."
Did you ever notice that when you talk to people that are failing in business and tell them to "think outside the box" or "push the envelope" that most of those people don't have the box or envelope to begin with!

Icon Holdings, Inc.
P.O. Box 1445
Cambria, California 93428
Telephone: 805-909-0908, Fax: 805-926-4518
e-mail: go2icon@netscape.net

 

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